Forget Sleeping, I Guess

I dreamt about you last night. Seems like my life is revolving around you right now. We kids were all in some cottage-type place [I think it was supposed to be a hotel suite, but it... wasn't.] and at first, everything was good.

We ate together, talked together, stayed up late telling stories together. Like we would have if the dream had been real--and had taken place over a year ago.

We even played video games together, something I've never actually seen you do. This dream was a bizarre combination of multiple things on my mind--though I'm not sure where video games came from--so there were also quite a few references to Rent [Aphrie and I watched it last night].

But even those strange portions could have happened in real life. Even the most peculiar of moments stung of reality, and it was only because I saw your face that I knew I was dreaming.

Because I haven't seen your face in almost a year.

You said you'd merely left for the weekend under some bogus pretense, that you only had until Sunday before you had to disappear again. All of us enjoyed your company while we could. And then, in the end, you sat down on the floor in the dark living room and started to cry.

You were scared to go back, you told me. You whispered the words to me as if you were afraid of saying them out loud. I just sat and stared, my eyes cold and unforgiving, unable to comfort you. My only solution would have been one you would refuse.

When I could feel the dream finally coming to a close--when the startling edges of real life began to shimmer in my view, as they always do, whisking me back to the world in which I belong--the horror finally set in. I watched in agony as you packed your bags and left. Again.

The last image I'll carry with me is that of you walking away, head never turning to say goodbye. And the emotion to which I so reluctantly awoke was one of pure, unadulterated sadness.

If only I'd been able to run to you, to spin you around and force reason down your throat. Unfortunately for me--and for all of us--reason abandoned you long ago, before comprehension reached us.

By then, it was too late. I will regret that lateness for the rest of my life.