Knead a Family?

[Ha, ha. Bread jokes. Welcome to my life as a Panera Bread employee...]

I never really noticed until this weekend how much my coworkers at Panera mean to me. We are quite literally a huge family, complete with weirdos and crazies like any other.

Bear with me while I think up nicknames for them all...got 'em.

Papa Burgundy [donde esta la biblioteca?] is the crazy uncle you love to hang with at the family parties. Mr. Right is the big brother I wish I had, and although making fun of me is his preferred hobby, he's one of my favorite people on this planet. TheCrumbKiller is the goofy cousin you only sometimes cross. Thing 1 and Thing 2 are the favorite cousins that are ABSOLUTELY amazing. Mo-Mo is the full-of-advice cousin, and MBfromTennessee is the aunt who loves you no matter what you do wrong. Postcard loves to make fun of you but greets you with "Hello, beautiful!" and a smile. The traditionally BOH people are the distant cousins that are full of silly sarcasm and have great taste in music. Tay-Tay's the relative who loves to gossip about all the others yet can still keep them as friends. Keener's that cousin that's always in trouble [for no reason] and often hits people with her car. Oh,Schick! is the comic relief cousin, and his mom is the most awake morning person I've ever met...other than CurlyJen or ElbowGrease, of course.

And the rest are all part of this big, happy family, too.

We really and truly care about each other. Everyone. No matter what goes wrong or who messes up, we're there for each other, through thick slices and thin slices. [Ah, bread jokes.]

So I love you guys. With all my heart. Thanks for making work a place I love to be. :]

Surprise!

Definitely never saw this coming...
Out of thin air
A striped balloon! cascading
Over silly little rivers
Like a cloud.

You're so innocently vague
I'm so innocent
Such a goofy way to be
Laugh out loud
Like a dream.

Stop! and smell the air
The salty breath on your tongue
I'm so happy
That I never saw it coming
A surprise
Like
This.

"So I Could Make More as a Prostitute in DC??"

I love my family.

It's Thanksgiving, and we've spent the majority of the day together. My three favorite cousins are here [love them!] and we're having a splendid time.

The best topic of discussion so far was how I could totally make more money as a prostitute in DC than as any sort of educated professional.

That's so sad. Well, what makes it sad is that it's entirely true. And if I didn't have morals, values, or a life, I would consider it. :P

I love my family. Lol. Happy Thanksgiving, everybody. :]

Houston, Tenemos Un Problema.

We have a serious problem.

I have five days of no school.

Tomorrow is the only one of those days I won't be working or family-ing.

And I actually have plans.

Plans? What are those? Fun? What is that?

I haven't had freedom in so long, I've forgotten what it feels like. And that's a serious problem.

The cure? Tomorrow. Thank god.

Hallelujah, It's Raining Sense!

Ever wake up and realize that some of the people you've known your whole life really and truly know nothing about you?

Some of them do. Some of them get it.

And some of them think you're somebody else.

It's not that they don't care. It's that they don't care to pay attention. What you do isn't as important as some of what the others do, so you can take the backseat and just be grateful they let you in the car for once and didn't make you walk.

And what you do--everything you do--will probably never be good enough for them. Not when compared. Not when contrasted to all the wonderful things they can do.

You'll never be good enough. Never...



Ever wake up and realize that you stopped caring about being good enough for them? That you're ready to move on with your life, to bigger and better people and things? That everything they've ever told you has been twisted, convoluted, and ridiculous? That you're more important than they make you feel?

I think I just did.

And I don't think I'm going to ever let them walk on me again.

Bad Friend.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY [ON THE 18TH], DANZ!!

Sorry I missed it, ol' mate. You know me...bad friend award...

See you soon [hopefully] and don't do anything I wouldn't do up at MSU ;]

So Gross.

I worked 11-6 yesterday and babysat with Maddy afterward. We then attempted to do physics [lol] at 11 pm, which turned out to be a total joke.

Nobody can think about conservation of energy when they're too tired to even keep their eyes open.

So I came home and collapsed. I woke up fifteen minutes ago, and I just noticed that I still smell like Panera.

Absolutely disgusting. I will never shake the smell of bread from my skin. Everybody wonders why I complain about that, seeing as the smell of Panera is a good one, but I have to disagree.

In the air, the smell of fresh-baked bread is good. On bread itself, it's good. Even co-mingled with the scents of pastries and soups, it's good.

But on a human body--a body that is tired and sweating from being around 400-degree oven for seven hours--the smell of bread is less than appetizing. Much less.

So I'm going to go shower. Maybe twice. And hopefully when I'm done my hair won't smell like coffee, or French onion, or sourdough, or asiago cheese...

I Never Lied.

I said exactly what I thought
I said what I felt and what I heard
I told truths so violently untrue
That I felt so sure I'd be heard and betrayed
But I never lied.

I gave you everything I knew
I gave up my fears and my hopes
I dreamed of what I wouldn't say
That I feared my hopes would vanish
But I never lied.

And you were a rogue
A spiteful hand, an untrained tongue
Words like venom stung my system
Words like fire froze my heart
And you saw it all.

I tried being all and nothing perfect
I tried to live and to breathe
I tried so hard.
I tried so, so hard.
I tried living by breathing
That hardest thing I've ever done
But I never lied.

And you were a rogue
A spiteful hand, an untrained tongue
Words like venom stung my system
Words like fire broke my heart
And you saw nothing.

And I wanted to be there
I wanted my love and my soul
I loved having a soul of my own
That I could bend at will
--And I bent it at will, at my own will--
But I never lied.

Manipulated my soul, maybe.
But confidently, now:
No, I never lied.

Excuse Me, I Have to Matriculate.

[please, look it up if you don't know what it means...]

I TOTALLY FORGOT TO MENTION ON HERE THAT I GOT ACCEPTED TO THE HONORS COLLEGE AT MICHIGAN STATE.

!

So I got into the college I strongly wish to attend, and it makes me happy. They're also giving me some good money for a professorial assistantship, and that makes me happy.

Maddy got in too!!! Can't separate us twins, after all [jk...we're not conjoined]. We'll be rooming together, and I'm ridiculously excited. :] :] :]

And the rest of my family?

Kailey's waiting for a reply from Central Michigan, a place that she and I know like the back of our hands. The only university we might know a little bit better is University of Tennessee...because we could navigate that one in our sleep. She's looking around, too, checking out her options, searching the skies.

Cassie got three state times for swim last week, and that will look very beautiful on her swim resume for college. Grand Valley State is looking at her, and she's also shopping around to check out her choices. [She, too, could navigate U of T in her sleep, by the way.]

Pinksie got into University of Detroit Mercy and is looking forward to an ambitious career in medicine. She's got a few other colleges to check out, but she knows what she wants out of life--and gosh darn it, if I know my oldest sister, she'll get it.

Debbie, Lyrika, Things 1, Thing 2, and everyone else in this world that I love is also doing the college stuff right now. We're all so busy, sometimes we forget how to relax...how to have fun...how to breathe...

But it's worth it. So worth it. We're going places in this lifetime, I swear we are.

Work is absolutely normal, which is perfectly abnormal by normal standards. School is hilarious, but I feel like I haven't been there more than I have. Mono, you know. Takes a lot out of you.

DI is running deliciously. Literally, deliciously. We had brownies last Thursday, and they were freaking good. But the DI skit itself is going swimmingly [ha, ha, pun... our skit takes place in the ocean... get it?] and we accomplished almost all our mid-November goals in an hour and a half at the last meeting.

What can I say? We deliver, damnit. We're awesome at this.

Let's see... Community service clubs are great, NHS is great, my writing's been atrocious lately, piano-playing has actually been good recently... umm... Not much else, really.

I'm busy, yet so not. Explain that.

The Reason

There's not much I really want to write.

When can we end 2008 and move on to better things?

Death Do Me Destroy

I'm awake. That's saying something, considering I've been asleep off and on since Thursday at 2:30 pm.

And when I say off and on, I actually mean that I sleep for four hours, stay awake for less then one, sleep for five hours, awake for one, sleep for three hours, awake for ten minutes, etc. Off and on.

See, guys, the doctor's pretty sure I've got mono. Which essentially sucks. I lost my voice again, and my face is a faucet. And all I do is sleep.

So don't expect much from me on here. Because it won't exactly be quality reading, you know?

If Only For Awhile

Last night, for the first time in what feels like ages, I was united with my two older sisters and my younger sister. The four of us spent the evening together, forgetting about all the stupid stuff that's been threatening to drive us apart.

For once, if only for a little while, I felt whole.

Cassie's entire life has been consumed by swimming, just as Pinks' has been devoured by work. Kailey got laid off [sorry, hon] and she and I drive to school together, so I see her often, but I very rarely get to see the other two. I see Maddy every single day in school, and usually on the weekends, too; if she'd been there last night, I would have been even more complete.

So I see Maddy and Kailey, no big deal. But seeing my older sisters--much less both at the same time--is a next-to-impossible feat, considering that my own life now consists solely of responsibilities.

School, homework, work, DI, college stuff, sleep. Shower and repeat frequently.

But yesterday night, totally undisturbed by all of those things, I got to see my sisters. Amazing. :]

People don't understand the driving power of sibling love. They're my sisters, so very much a part of me that it's almost hard to differentiate. I love them with all my heart, even when we're all under the influence of PMS and ready to kill each other. Even then.

Sisters for life, friends for longer. And that is what's going to keep me sane.

Lesson #25: Hot vs. Cold

These things I have learned from working at Panera:

Boiling water makes things hot.

Ice makes things cold.

Coffee, containing boiling water, feels hot when poured down a leg.

Mango smoothies, containing ice, feel cold when poured down an arm.

Both are equally uncomfortable and ought to be avoided.

Unless, of course, you're me, much too uncoordinated for your own health and safety.