"She's in love, and the world gets blurry
She makes mistakes, and she's in no hurry to grow up
'Cause grownups, they don't understand her
Well it's a big, big world out there, but she's not scared...
She finds hope in the strangest places
She reads her books, and she knows the faces
Of everyone that ever said she's alone
She knows every word to the saddest songs
And she sings along, though her friends all tell her
That she can't sing...
She's eighteen, much too young
To know what a kiss like that would mean
But her lips, they were no stranger to the touch
And she likes it way too much."
--Mayday Parade, So Far Away

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Keep Me Here

You, me, her, him. All of us. It's not hard to see that we belong together.

So many roles I play, you know? And I wouldn't trade a single one of them away.

I'm a twin [a triplet, actually, but nobody likes our brother] to the ever-thoughtful Maddy, a little sister [and number one fan!] to the big-hearted Cassie, a big sis [and always-shoulder] to the silly and loving Kailey [and Young Matteo], and VERY closely tied to so many more [Barbie, Debbie, Lyrika...]. We're a family, more than anyone could ever realize.

It's those weird moments in your life that you finally recognize who loves you and who doesn't. Never again will I make the mistake of treating you guys poorly--never, never, never.

I look in the mirror, and I don't just see me. I see everyone who's made me who I am--biological family, extended family, friends, everyone--and it makes me happy. To know that I'm loved, and that I have enough connection with the world to get me through the day.

Because there are days I feel disconnected, and nobody should ever have to feel that way.

The tides are changing, and so am I. Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually decaying, but then I remember what holds me together, and I know that I can survive. We can do this.

I know it's risky to trust others. I know it's terrifying to think that these wonderful siblings I've got could potentially hurt me. But I don't care. I'm done being safe. I'm done playing by the rules.

So I'm going to love and not look back. I think I can love. I can trust, I can hope, I can feel, and I think I'll be able to learn how to love.

2 comments:

Princess Charming said...

After reading this wonderful post, all that is consuming my head right now is "we are family". I'm sorry if that is offensive in any way lmfao.

Can't blame the human jukebox ;D

love you! xoxo

Abby said...

Lmao I so agree with you!!! Now I'm singing it lol...

Definitely not offensive. Just hilarious. :D