There was a silence today, so profound and so perfect
I found myself wrapped up in the mechanics of the unadultered air.
Not like poetry, not like song
It was pure and real and exactly as it should have been.
The effort required to be effortless was daunting
And I was afraid to touch what could have been tangible nothingness.
The breath of my peers stopped short in their lungs
Frozen in the terror of shattering such gleamless glass
Reflecting and refracting not a shred of light, it was ideal.
Despair seized my rationality
If it could not be felt, could it leave unnoticed?
I reached out and touched what could not be touched
Stroked what was impossible to stroke
Achieving, with one subtle movement, the impossible.
I grasped at this emptiness wildly, violently
Pleading and begging that it remain my companion.
Silently, it vanished.
I saw nothing, but felt all
Realizing too quickly, too naturally, that it had not been
Nothing.
It had been smoke
Glossing my perspective with its blurry shadows
Shades of sorrows and hues of hindsight.
When lifted, it was most peculiar
I saw nothing, but felt all
And I began to wonder whether or not I'd ever needed the silence
Or if, perhaps, I truly had,
But was now left only with the shocking clarity
And a profound, perfect desire for my silence to return.
--KB, 2008
15 years ago
1 comment:
KB,
Thanks for the invite to your blog. Take this from me-the psuedo-professional critic-you have a gift for writing. I love "Smoke-Filled Silence"...your line about "the effort to be effortless" being daunting is brilliant and wonderfully perceptive. It's sort of like how I spend 25 minutes trying to make my hair look like I spent less than 30 seconds on it. Comfort in one's own skin takes time...perhaps even an eternity.
As for the "Expiration Date on my Intelligence," I remember that week. I appreciate the self-deprecating humor about the essays...especially since self-deprecating humor is sort of my specialty...and I probably did spend an exorbitant amount of time on them.
Love the Frost poem, too. He's one of my two all-time favorites; we'll be spending quite a bit of time on him soon.
M.J.
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