Idk.

Nothing is easy. Life isn't fair. It's a long, hard road. The path is bound to have obstacles. Nothing good is permanent.

Yeah. I've heard them all.

But hearing the phrases doesn't make it any easier when you're faced with a choice. A choice of belief, of action. Who do I side with? Which side is right? Is neutrality my best option? Is neutrality even an option at all?

And when your choice concerns someone you love and may or may not affect their future as well as your own, there is no easy road. There is no path without obstacles. There is no fairness, no justice.

Loss is not a road I ever want to face again. Not death--death I can handle. Even temporary absence is manageable. But instant removal, loss of the permanent kind, a loss that cannot be replaced nor avoided, is a road that I refuse to travel.

I cannot let go, nor hold tight. Neither way is preferable or easy or even fair to all involved parties. I am bound to lose, no matter which way I turn.

I am close to losing, possibly forever, someone I have known since birth and do not wish to see removed from my life. Here's the crux--they're choosing to leave, ignoring the painful consequences of their actions, thinking only of what the future COULD hold for them in their journey. If I fight against this tide, this destructive current of their choice, I may lose their trust, their love. If I don't, I'll lose them completely.

I don't know what to do. I've never faced this kind of loss before. I've struggled with reality, stability, death, my own sanity... But never loss. Never permanent removal. At least death comes with closure--there will be no closure here.

There will be no happy ending to this mess. I don't have to be a psychic to see that. And I don't have to be a masochist to understand the concept of enduring pain.

So until the ending comes along, I shall endure.