Climate Control

I've said before that I'm more than capable of feeling the emotions of those around me, to a point where their deepest feelings can even disguise my own. Here is a quote, from Stephenie Meyer's Eclipse [third book in Twilight's series]:

"You've experienced the way I can manipulate the emotions around myself, Bella, but I wonder if you realize how the feelings in a room affect me. I live every day in a climate of emotion."

Spoken by Jasper Hale, one of the "good" vampires [I shall sigh now and wish they were real for brief second], this quote literally explains my life. Literally. Every day, in and out, I am required to feel the emotions of the people around me.

Jasper has the same gift, only he can change others' emotions more accurately than I can [he actually changes them physically, re-balancing chemicals and such, not just by talking them through the problem]. He is condemned to spend the rest of eternity feeling everyone else's pain.

Like me.

Just like Jasper, I live in a climate of emotion. I dwell in thoughts and feelings that are entirely NOT my own. It's like my own little atmosphere, a dome of emotion that only I can enter and manipulate. Sometimes it's great. Sometimes it just really sucks.

There are times I'd like nothing more than to trade away my gift. Times when others' pain overshadows my own happiness and makes me pretty irritated. And then there are those precious moments when their happiness mixes with mine and I just about grin myself to death. I like my gift then, but those times are rare. So few people these days are purely happy...

I ask you--no, I beg you--to be thankful for what you don't have. Be glad that the emotions you feel are entirely your own, belonging to no one but yourself. Rejoice in the fact that your mind is never invaded by emotions over which you have no ownership.

Celebrate that your mind is only yours and will always be yours, without constant, unwanted emotional interruptions from those around you. And if you are presented with the option, choose to stay out of those people's heads. You'll be glad you did.

Because some of us never had a choice. And we're still coming to terms with the invasion. Slowly.