Sock It To 'Em

Someone recently told me that "life is what you make it." I didn't argue then. Granted, I should have. But now I'm going at it.

I also was told that there were "too many bitter people in the room," quite unnecessarily referring to me. Blasphemy!

Let me defend myself now, once and for all. Let me prove to you that I'm not bitter, I'm just right.

A wise man once said [I paraphrase, so bear with me] that if someone punches you in the face, you're supposed to turn and give them the other cheek. That's nice and all, but what happens when you run out of cheek? What do you do what there's no face left to punch?

They move on to the rest of you, some say. Well, what happens then? You lie there in a bloody pulp, begging for mercy? I think not.

You walk away.

That "someone" wielding an angry fist is life. Life punches you in the face. Don't even try to deny it--life in itself hurts more than any stupid, angry man could. So life isn't "what you make it." It's a cruel punch in the face. The only action you're left to take is to try and heal... which is way harder than it sounds.

And the walking away? That's what the narrow-minded people refer to as "bitterness." They think that by turning your back on the world, you're deserting it; you're becoming bitter and unfeeling. Webster calls bitterness "harshful reproach, marked by cynicism and rancor." It's definitely a connotative definition, one he wrote only because it's what the people had come to believe...

Is it really bitterness? No, it's not. It's the right thing to do. It's removal from the pain. I've never met anyone who could willingly sit and let someone punch them in the face. I can't, so I won't. I'm not about to walk around with scars because some bloke named Life decided I needed a beating.

It's not bitterness; it's defense. It's a homecoming to the reality we try to hide. Those who live under the illusion that all problems can be solved by love and kindness have obviously never been punched in the face by someone they love, and therefore should keep their unscarred mouths closed. Speak of what you know, not what you think you know.

Webster also says that to be bitter is to be "expressive of severe pain, grief, or regret." In this sense, all you people are right. Bitterness is an expression of pain, not just unnecessary, unfeeling anger. It's not chosen, it's earned.

A sense of reality is only bestowed upon those who have earned it. I've earned it. Thena's earned it. My parents have earned it. We don't live under that roof of illusion, that love and happiness and kindness make the world go 'round. We know how to survive, because we know all about the punches. We know that life isn't as simple as "what you make it"--life happens. All you get to do is cope, heal, and keep moving, avoiding as many punches as you can.

I'm not bitter. I've just learned how to duck.