Lesson #11-12

I've decided to simply add to my "Lessons" list every time I come up with a new one. Today I feature two new lessons, numbers eleven and twelve.

#11- Make sure your cell phone is set to vibrate before you go to bed. Unless, of course, you want to be awoken by a very loud song, pulled instantaneously from a very deep sleep, and consequently thrown into the wall [headfirst, mind you] on the opposite side of your bedroom because you're scared by the noise and too dysfunctional in the morning to figure out where the phone is instead of the wall. You'd be surprised how much it hurts when you lose your balance and crash... I was informed that it sounded like a large door slamming shut.

#12- Don't get a hot coffee drink on a summer afternoon, especially while you're wandering around a scorching parking lot and sweating like a crazy person. Despite popular belief, your body temperature will rise. Call off the investigation--I've figured it out. Heat!

Ha. Welcome to a little place called Common Sense, Arty.