Chitlins

So I've been thinking. I know, how shocking, what a miracle, there is brain function after all...

But I've been thinking about kids, actually. Obviously not HAVING kids, considering that I'm 16 and definitely not interested right now [and that my family/friends would murder me in my sleep], but just kids in general.

I've noticed, sadly, that I don't work well with babies and/or animals. Babies cry when I hold them or look at them. Animals [including my own dogs] pretend I don't exist when I give a command. And young kids tend to annoy me more than inspire me, too, I'll admit. Not that I don't love my cousins and little friends, but I don't have much patience [another big surprise there] and kids wear that patience down to its final threads.

So it never really was a big thought of mine that I would have, say, five kids or something. All girls talk about this stuff, by the way--we plan our futures and then get all excited over it. We play those stupid MASH games where you pick a husband, a car, a house, etc. Sort of dumb but really fun and definitely THE best way to pass time in elementary school latchkey.

I figured, sure, I'd get a husband some day. I'd put up with a man if I really loved the guy [they, too, tend to wear on my patience]. Not that I want to get married before I'm out of college, but I can't say that anyone in my high school really appeals to me on a dating level right now [MORONS!]; all of my dating experiences are pre-high school. Don't underestimate them, though. They still changed my world, gave me good and bad memories and all that fun stuff. I must say, though, that I swore off boys after the last time. Those memories were enough to keep me from getting the usual boy-crazy attitude of some of my peers.

Anyway, I figured I'd get a husband, maybe have a kid or two. Since elementary school, I've drastically altered this plan multiple times. For awhile I wasn't going to get married at all; now I think it might not be so bad. Until I learned what it truly meant to have kids, I was all gung-ho about the idea; now, I'm definitely out. I am SO not into destroying my body just to pass on my genetics.

So I've thought about other options, the most appealing being adoption. The more I think about it, the nicer it sounds. Sure, it costs a fortune, but I wouldn't want to be responsible for a kid until I had the money to raise them, anyway.

Aside from some of the more obvious motives, my biggest would have to be that I don't want to bring anyone else into this world. With all the crap that we humans put up with, I don't think I could bear to force any other being to join us. There is something special about having your own kids, but I just couldn't do it. I just can't even imagine it.

There are plenty of kids out there that need parents, and someone to teach them the ways of the world. I could be that person one day. Instead of creating more children, I'd take in the ones that already exist--the ones who need me. Kids need mentors, people to show them around and teach them right from wrong. I could be that person. That parent.

And they will irritate me. And I will nag and pester them. And my husband and I will fight sometimes and make each other furious. And it will really, truly, and completely be okay.

Don't be expecting me to post anytime soon that I'm getting married or having kids or anything. I was just thinking about this stuff. Put down the phone, Dad--I'm not going to get knocked up next week, or anytime soon, for that matter. I'm smarter than that.

Lol. I have such random thoughts. Kids? Psh. How weird.