"ComegoleftrighttunnelchutesitstayTARGETTHEA-FRAMEGOSHDARNIT"

Okay, here's my deal. I'm not an animal person. Yes, I like cats and dogs--I have two dogs, after all, and I had two cats at one point--but my interests are limited to specific types of dog and cat. Chihuahuas, for example, are not in my interest range. Not even a little bit.

This weekend is The Dog Show, one of my DI team's biggest fundraisers. From 7:30 to 4:30 today, my kiddles and I ran the rings at this dog agility contest, doing things like running leashes and fluffing chutes and raising/lowering jump bars. We begin again tomorrow at 7:30 and finish sometime around 5 or 6ish.

Shoot me. Seriously. Put me out of this misery, would you? I asked my mom to do it earlier, and she wouldn't...

It's not exactly difficult work, but it's tedious. I AM grateful that they donate as much as they do to our team, but that gratitude has no bearing whatsoever on my dislike for the show. Like I said, I like dogs, but these dog people are crazy.

Literally crazy, as in questionable insane. They're all nuts. I didn't think it was possible for a human being to love a dog more than another human, but apparently it's possible.

There are some that are really, REALLY nice. Some are downright sweet and kindhearted, and these nice people are a lot more grounded than the crazies. But then there are the psychotic trainers who sincerely believe that their dogs are their biological children.

My team and I make up what's called the "ring crew," but to the not-so-nice dog trainers we're simply somebody to chuck a leash at when a dog doesn't perform so well. I try not to let it hurt my feelings--they are crazy, after all, and couldn't possibly know any better--yet it's still sort of mean.

So now I'm exhausted, sunburned [a flamingo shade of pink, you might say], and wearing eau d'anxious Border Collie. It's great.

The good news? My team can go to Globals now...