Post IV: This is really messed.

I've been really thrown off for the past few days because of an experience.

It was in third hour, Chemistry. Boring beyond belief. If I had only known that we would spend all of our time doing example problems that look pretty much the same to me, I wouldn't have been so excited about the class. Stupid double replacement equations...

Anyway. We were drawing on each other's hands, as we always do (it's either that or writing notes back and forth with Lo). It may sound immature, but it's fun and when you're really THAT bored there's not much else to do.

So as my friends copied down some more notes, I doodled aimlessly on my left hand, drawing squiggly lines with curls at the end. Once again, sounds dumb. But here's when it happened.

I traced over one of the lines again and felt the ink etch itself into the first layer of skin. And then I had the weirdest instance of déjà vu that I've ever had the displeasure (or pleasure) of witnessing, followed closely by the feeling that I should look at the back door.

I get déjà vu, on average, six times a day. It's nothing new to me. Other people don't even know I'm seeing it because I only remark on the ones that are most extreme or severe.

So if this had been normal déjà vu, I wouldn't have said a word. Even if it had been what I used to consider "extreme," I probably still wouldn't have said anything because the room was so quiet and really, nobody cares about that-girl-in-the-back's déjà vu.

But it was the farthest from normal that I've ever seen. Two images flashed before my eyes, like still frames. Like memories. At first I thought it was a flashback of my own memories, until I realized that I'd never seen those images before in my entire life. Ever.

The first was of a path in the woods, trees on either side, and leaves all over the ground. I've been places where it was similar to this, but not exactly the same. The second was of a man turning to run, with a row of cabinets and a counter to the right of him. I've never seen the man before, nor the cabinets. They were orange.

The only reason I consider it déjà vu is because it felt like I'd seen them before, yet I know I haven't. And when I turned to look at the door again, I could feel the same emotions that had come round the first time. Tranquility, for the first one, and then anguish and an adrenaline rush for the second. They were very, very real emotions, and for a few minutes I was left feeling uneasy and almost fearful from the man's expression.

I was scared.

Something had happened to that man, something to make his face look so terrified and to make him run. At the time, I had stopped myself from wondering about it, because it's not right to look at someone else's memories. That's got to be the biggest infringement on privacy that I've ever heard.

I was also scared because that's really not normal. I thought I was going crazy, seeing what could potentially be somebody else's memories. There were people through the door that I could see; what if it was one of their minds I was probing into? They were all men, too. Weird.

I finally came to the conclusion that it was overactive imagination. I was tired, so my head was mixing up thoughts and creating pictures for me to think about. Still weird, but more normal that the mind-probing theory...

That doesn't explain the emotions, though. Or that I could only feel them while looking at the back door. I've been so confused. Now when I look back there, I don't feel a thing, like the whole experience never happened.

I don't know what it all means, but it certainly has me thrown for a loop. Maybe I'm just crazy.

Maybe.
-Abigail