Day in my Shoes

Wake up, pretend the clock doesn't actually have a five in the hour slot. Smack your alarm so hard it won't dare to ring again.

Find something--anything--to wear. Try to do something--anything--with the crazy, fluffy curls that are somehow attached to your head.

Breathe.

Survive the school parking lot. Make it to class on time. Carry heavy books all day. Walk back and forth through the same hallway a thousand times.

If you're lucky, see your sister Cassie sometime in the morning. If you're not lucky, get followed by that random kid whose last name you still haven't learned.

See your twin sister in third hour and chuckle to yourself when you realize that the teacher still hasn't figured it out. Wake up completely sometime during fourth hour.

Go to fifth hour--your favorite--and see your sister Kailey. Enjoy the feeling of circadian accomplishment when you reach sixth hour and see your twin again. Greet Debbie and Cuaderno and all your other friends that aren't in any of your other classes. Feel loved and mildly stressed--simultaneously.

Count down the seconds until the last bell rings. The day is over.


Pretty boring when you look at my days like that, right? But I forgot to mention the parts that other people can't see. I'll start over:


Wake up, get ready, etc. Get to school.

Feel the tension in the commons as you walk to your locker. Sense the way so many of those kids don't want to be there.

Reach first hour and feel the emotions of your table mates. Hold your tongue if they're upset, and make little jokes if they're not. Repeat the process in second hour.

Further process the people around you during third hour. Check on your sister periodically, just to make sure that she really is having a good day. Let the emotions in the room surround you, fill you, become you, because almost all of these kids mean a great deal to you. You care more for them because they've so often cared for you; it's your self-assigned duty to make sure none of them are unhappy.

Partially shut off the emotional sensor before you reach fourth hour, because there's too much unpleasantness there. Too much stress and tension. You happen to enjoy that class [sometimes, anyway] and you can't stand it when other people's anger ruins it for you.

Completely tune out others' emotions during lunch. Too much insanity in one room. Too many shades, hues, and tones to decipher and sort... It's easier just to relax and enjoy these twenty-five minutes.

Ease back into the swing of things in fifth hour; again, these kids are the ones that mean so much to you. Check on them. Smile for them. Be whatever they need you to be, because when they're happy, you're happy.

Doing this makes you happy. This is what you were born to do.

Keep tabs on the people in sixth hour with just as much intensity as fifth hour. Same kids, same level of care.

Leave school. Try to tune out the road rage in the parking lot. Revel in the silence of your empty house and then blare the music just to keep the corners of your brain occupied.


This is more how my day goes. Deeper than just classes and schoolwork. More than just books and lockers.

And I don't think I would want it any other way, really.