If I could...God, if I could only convince the world to right itself. To become self-sufficient and less selfish. To forgive me all I've done, and then forget.
I long to be freed from my own perspective. I see so much more than I wish to see, know so much more about people than I will ever care to know. You're all a bunch of open books, did you know? Empty, scrawling books, with messy handwriting in an ink only I can read.
So many of you want nothing at all, and that makes my heart ache. How can I help you to see what lies ahead? How can I teach you to accept the future when I can hardly do so myself?
My heart...it's breaking.
Shattering. A noise, a clamour, so much louder than expected. I never thought I could hear the sound of frustration ripping a soul in two.
I hear it all. I see it all. I feel everything that every single one of you can feel.
A light shines up ahead, can you see it? Can you hear the laughter? The rush of elated emotion... That's what I want. That's all I want. For you, for them, for him, for her.
For me.
One day, I'm going to reach the end of the tunnel. And I'm going to run screaming into the sunlight, my hair whipping out behind me, my eyes really seeing for the first time. Ears really hearing. Mind really feeling.
And everything I'll feel will be beautiful and pure.
15 years ago
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