For a Moment

Loss. It comes in all shapes, all sizes, all forms. The varying levels of grief are astounding, mind-boggling... But loss is still loss, no matter its degree.

There is, of course, death. The most final kind of loss, but not necessarily the most painful. There is no reverse, no backward motion, no method of using hindsight to fix what went wrong before the death. The pain one feels is hard to heal and possibly even more difficult to disguise, but it does heal. It can be disguised. The individual is never the same, but the pain goes away.

There are other losses, too. Kinds that hurt more than death. Like losing someone you love because they chose to leave--that kind of loss hurts. Kills. Because you know they didn't just disappear without a fight. They chose to leave you, to abandon you, of their own free will and have no apparent regrets. You won't ever see them again, you think, because they don't want to return.

The worst kind of loss is letting go.

You know they'll always be out there, living their life and enjoying every minute of it. They'll wake up in the morning and smile, not caring that they left you in their dust. They'll be happy.

And you know what? You might get over them. You might, one day, be able to put those photo albums from your childhood in a box and pretend that that loved one was never there. You just might be able to lie to yourself, to try and erase your own memory.

Want a hint? It doesn't work.

There is no release. Someone who was a part of you from the beginning cannot be simply "let go." So what can you do, besides choke back the pain of loss?

You can prevent it.

Hang on to those you love. Tell them you're there. Make sure, from day one, that they know you'll never leave their side--and that no matter how far they roam, you'll always be a phone call or an email away.

This kind of loss may be harder to face than death sometimes, but it has one advantage that death does not: early prevention. This can be changed. This kind of loss, this grieving and pain and suffering can be completely prevented.

And the reason such a loss is so hard to face, so impossible to overcome, is that you're left knowing that you could have stopped it completely and you didn't.

You didn't.