10 Lessons, 5 days

In the past five days, I've learned 10 valuable lessons. Some from my own mistakes, some from others--either way, they've been good to me.

1) When you buy a red article of clothing, NEVER wash it for the first time with clothes that have any white on them. My blue and white shirt is now blue and pink. It's not even a nice pink, it's a nasty brownish-pink... Gross.

2) When in Greektown, just ask where the bathrooms are. Don't wander about the restaurant with your sister, brother, and cousin... And if you're Thena, don't go in the mens' by mistake. =P

3) Don't tell scary stories in your friend's haunted, creepy, eerie basement and then spend the night at Thena's house, watching The King and I to fall asleep. Bad idea. Scary dreams. Strange combination of singing Siamese kings and ghosts. Eek.

4) Never accidentally doze off during a 6-hour mentor training session and then wake up to lots of screaming. Scares the pants off of you.

5) Putting your arm through a door that you and your brother are both trying to close is a very, very, very stupid idea.

6) iPods unfreeze by holding down Menu and Circle, not all five buttons at once. Throwing them doesn't work very well either.

7) Always have a friend help you power-clean your room, especially if it needs to be done in less than 10 minutes and you need a shovel to find your floor.

8) Yield to people turning right. Always, always, always.

9) Don't make jokes about people who are three seats away from you on the monorail. You can't run away.

10) Crayola markers are NOT washable if they're black. They just fade from black to blue to green to orange until you think it's gone. They LIE.

Goodnight, world. I'll be posting pictures tomorrow, probably... Maybe. I don't know.

-Arty is [giddy, and] OUT. :D

Sock It To 'Em

Someone recently told me that "life is what you make it." I didn't argue then. Granted, I should have. But now I'm going at it.

I also was told that there were "too many bitter people in the room," quite unnecessarily referring to me. Blasphemy!

Let me defend myself now, once and for all. Let me prove to you that I'm not bitter, I'm just right.

A wise man once said [I paraphrase, so bear with me] that if someone punches you in the face, you're supposed to turn and give them the other cheek. That's nice and all, but what happens when you run out of cheek? What do you do what there's no face left to punch?

They move on to the rest of you, some say. Well, what happens then? You lie there in a bloody pulp, begging for mercy? I think not.

You walk away.

That "someone" wielding an angry fist is life. Life punches you in the face. Don't even try to deny it--life in itself hurts more than any stupid, angry man could. So life isn't "what you make it." It's a cruel punch in the face. The only action you're left to take is to try and heal... which is way harder than it sounds.

And the walking away? That's what the narrow-minded people refer to as "bitterness." They think that by turning your back on the world, you're deserting it; you're becoming bitter and unfeeling. Webster calls bitterness "harshful reproach, marked by cynicism and rancor." It's definitely a connotative definition, one he wrote only because it's what the people had come to believe...

Is it really bitterness? No, it's not. It's the right thing to do. It's removal from the pain. I've never met anyone who could willingly sit and let someone punch them in the face. I can't, so I won't. I'm not about to walk around with scars because some bloke named Life decided I needed a beating.

It's not bitterness; it's defense. It's a homecoming to the reality we try to hide. Those who live under the illusion that all problems can be solved by love and kindness have obviously never been punched in the face by someone they love, and therefore should keep their unscarred mouths closed. Speak of what you know, not what you think you know.

Webster also says that to be bitter is to be "expressive of severe pain, grief, or regret." In this sense, all you people are right. Bitterness is an expression of pain, not just unnecessary, unfeeling anger. It's not chosen, it's earned.

A sense of reality is only bestowed upon those who have earned it. I've earned it. Thena's earned it. My parents have earned it. We don't live under that roof of illusion, that love and happiness and kindness make the world go 'round. We know how to survive, because we know all about the punches. We know that life isn't as simple as "what you make it"--life happens. All you get to do is cope, heal, and keep moving, avoiding as many punches as you can.

I'm not bitter. I've just learned how to duck.

Before I Go...

Before I run off to that bonfire, I'd like to tell the world the most exciting words I thought I'd ever say.

I. Am. TAN.

For the first time in probably ten years, I am becoming a slight shade of brown. I am tan. God, it feels so good to say. To type, whatever.

And I'm not cheating my way through, either--this is a real, natural, skin-cancer-prone tan. I couldn't be more happy.

Quit laughing. If you were half albino [and the other half elf], you'd be grateful too.

Arty is [reminiscent of a golden marshmallow, and] OUT. :D

AHHHH!

LIBERATION!

Finally. Took long enough...

Is this how innocent prisoners feel upon release? I think so.

Arty is [excited, off to a bonfire, and] OUT.

Solvation, Salvation...

I took a chemistry exam today, a part of which was heavily focused on solvation. For those of you who haven't learned [or don't remember], solvation is the process by which a solute is ionized in solution. The compound divides itself into its ions and the ions are then each surrounded by solvent. As an example, the ionization of NaCl in water: the compound becomes Na+ and Cl- and both sets of ions are surrounded by water.

We also were taught about colligative properties. Again, I clarify; colligative properties are simply certain properties that change for a substance when it is in an aqueous solution [freezing point, boiling point, and vapor pressure].

Yes, that sounds like a garbled mess of blahchemblah. That's what I thought, too.

But is it completely inapplicapable to me? No. I think about what I become when I'm in the water, someone completely different, someone who's not afraid. No, never afraid. I let the water take over, pull me under, and change me into someone else.

I don't think it's weird at all to respect water. It carries this... power, I guess we could call it, with it, as if it has a mind and is capable of thought. I'm not a crazy, I swear. I just love the water.

The moment I disappear beneath the surface, I can feel its power. I let myself relax, let my fear and worries and cares all drift away, and I focus on just gliding, moving...

I'm very much like that ionic compound, the one who divides in water and changes. I divide. I separate myself from the person I was on the surface, and I become braver, stronger.

Maybe I am crazy. But I still love the water, and I love the effect it has on me. It's the ultimate salvation, to be freed from my cares.

So that's what I was actually thinking about during my chem exam. Probably not a good thing, but hey--at least I understand the concept. :D

-Arty is [feeling intelligent for half a second, and] OUT.

Feeling Beat? Have a Beat.

I've got the exam blues, so I'm diving into my music headfirst. Well, not "my" music, seeing as I haven't touched the piano in weeks and my amateur guitar hands are callous-free, but the music that I prefer to bless my ears.

Recently heard a band called "The Hush Sound" [via Thena, my human jukebox]. I highly recommend them if you like upbeat, imagery-packed music. Well-written, very talented, very happy. Even when they're singing about death and impending doom, they're happy. =D

Along with Hush, I'd prescribe a strong dose of Muse. Louder, more "angry." Good words, though, and strong beats to keep you distracted. Works for me, anyway.

If you want to see what I currently have stuck in my head, go into my profile [up at the top... yes, there] and click on "Audio Clip." Once you're on the site, go to "Wine Red."

If you want to try Muse, go to www.purevolume.com/muse. I have most of those stuck in my head, too...

Three cheers for three days of school until liberation. Hip, hip, freakin' hooray. :)

Carpe Noctem!

Yes, that means "seize the night." Who honestly cares about the day? Nothing to seize. The night is so much more tempting...

Speaking of strange garbled phrases, I felt like showing off: I'm learning Latin. Actually, I stand corrected: I'm sort of learning Latin. Kind of like watching Dora the Explorer and claiming to be studying Spanish.

For now, Thena and I are grabbing random phrases and memorizing, learning how to form simple sentences and say poetic things like "While I breathe, I hope" and "You can break me, but not bend me" [Dum spiro, spero... Frangas, non flectes. For the record.].

Pathetic? Oh, very. Almost like learning a dead language.

What's that? Latin is dead? Oh, dear. Golly gee. Holy smokin' willikers. Must've missed that memo...

I'm a poet... And yes, I'm aware of it.

For the entertainment and bafflement of my [3] readers, I post a poem. Copyright 2007 to KEB, of course [and I'm damn serious].


Argentum

Whilst evils trample 'round the earth tonight
And sorrow great and vast leaves no sound way
To dream or hope upon escape or flight
The angels fight the night, restoring day

The eldest twists and turns the closing heat
The second minds the minds of those who think
The harmony of death the fourth one beats
The third, a sieve, for feeling past the brink

From death these heav'nly hosts protect the life
From life these selfless guards prevent the dead
Sweet breath, a whisper faintly breaks through strife
And breathes the words to patch the path ahead

Though often lost and baffled by their might
The angels guard your sound, your sight, your night.


Arty, Thena [Eddie], Seph, and Tia: Est deus in nobis.

El Verano... FINALLY.

With just five days of school left, I thought I'd post my summer plans. They cannot even begin to compare with Lyrika's [Europe for a monthish with her orchestra] but I thought they sounded pretty good to me.

To start, I'll head to California for a week. As I haven't been there since I was four, there's a lot I need to catch up on--and I will. We're doing everything. Literally, everything. I can't wait.

Following Cali is a trip to DC and Williamsburg. I haven't been out east since I was maybe 9 [I think? Idk] so again, mucho catching-up [Excuse me while I stab myself in the face for using Spanglish]. It should be fun, full of my own family history. Having a genealogist for a grandmother definitely has its perks...

In the midst of all this, I'll be seeing Wicked [again], going to an all-out country concert, heading up north to my friend's cottage, and probably going on a few adventures with the girls. It should be amazing, this summer... my last summer before college selection days.

Sigh... Childhood's almost over. So I'm going out with a bang.

Three Highly Random Thoughts

I would like to now make three very random and unassociated comments.

First, I would like to grin with admiration and say that God did indeed smile upon the earth the day my sister Eddie was born... and then sarcastically cackled as I joined her. The day we decided to take on the world, though, he gasped and whispered, "Holy [foul word]! What the hell have I done?"

Second, I would like to make note that while most girls I know grew up desiring to be Disney princesses, I wanted to be Nala from Lion King. Just a thought.

And third, I may be inclined to mention that I've finally chosen titles for my trilogy: The Emperor, The Hidden, and The Heiress. I'm so happy, I could kiss someone...

Abbsigail Christine Artemis Morgan is [in a good mood, and] OUT.

Frangas, Non Flectes.

I spoke of changes, life changes. Big changes. And, well, I'm not a liar, so...

To start, my dad and his girlfriend [known as MR on here until I make up a codename] got engaged and will be married in about a year from now. Needless to say, I'm excited. My brother and I are going to be the best man and the maid of honor [in that respective order], so it will be the first time I've ever been in a wedding. It will also be the first wedding I can ever remember attending at all. I'm not sure how real weddings go; the ones in the movies and in TV shows, I'm told, are lacking in validity. It ought to be awesome.

Because of this new change, we've moved into MR's house. That means a new room for me, one that I'm not required to share with my brother. And a new room means only one thing:

Decorating. :D

I've already promised my friends that they can help paint. For now, I'm looking at a black and white theme, drawing on my love of opposites and contradiction. I've always been partial to that combination, as have so many before me; the two colors somehow represent me completely. Black for my depth and varying emotions, white for my remaining naivety and innocence.

Like I said, I'm excited. With this change also comes some more family--more cousins, more aunts and uncles, more people to learn from. Of course, I would NEVER forget about the family I've already got... I love you guys more than anything in this world. I'm just glad to get more--never can have too many people to surround you and love you. :D

Does change ever stop? Nope. I used to think it was something to avoid, something sent by an angry God to punish me. Apparently it's not, because everybody experiences it. No God could possibly be that furious...

I now embrace change, even bad change. I've noticed that what I find to be frightening and "scary" usually turns out to be okay. All you adults are scoffing, calling this little lesson "common sense." Do you really think so? I don't. Kids hate change. We like our little worlds to keep spinning solidly, without any interruptions, and the day we learn that life doesn't work that way is the day we spin into reality.

Hello, world. I'm just a little girl, still hanging onto wishes and dreams. Hello, reality. Don't mind me. I'm only here to stay, that's all.

I'm only here to stay. To stay, to change, and to learn.

Back to the World

[Sigh] Time flies, so I've been told. And apparently bad bloggers forget to blog when time moves just a little bit too quickly.

Since May 12th, many things have changed. Me, for one, along with some of my friends. But I suppose change is the only constant in this world.

We raised more than enough money to go to Globals for DI. From May 23rd to the 27th, I had the time of my life with four people who make me feel complete. We didn't compete well, coming in 30th out of 60-something teams, but hey--it was worth the fun.

School ends in three weeks [insert thunderous applause and thanks to God]. I can't wait. It always seems like summer never comes fast enough, like it's just a couple weeks behind. Always.

But as to change... In these past two [or three?] weeks, I can honestly say I've matured as a person. Do teenagers always say that? I'm not sure, but I feel older. A lot older. Not an adult, no, but someone older and wiser with more of a purpose in the world. It's a cool feeling.

My close friends have grown up, too. We're finally turning into "people" instead of just "kids." Is that a good thing? No idea. But I like this newly-discovered maturity.

I leave you now with little to think about and even less to say. I promise that soon, very soon, I will blog "fo reals" and actually give my words some substance.

Abbs is [tired, and] out.

In Reply

I was just asked if I'm crazy, and if I believe in magic.

No, I'm not. And no, I don't.

I'm no more crazy than your average teenager... Me being crazy is about the same as one of them acting normal.

And "magic" isn't real. I'm not some cracked-up Harry-Potter-loving lunatic. I do not believe in "magic," I believe in the power of the mind.

The mind is capable of turning life into something more than just the everyday monotony. The human mind is the magic I believe in. Without it, you're screwed. With it, you have all the power in the world.

So in my profile where it says "magic to always believe in," use your noggin. I'm not casting spells on people. I'm using my brain. I'm taking my daily experience in combination with my dreams and my best friends to create my own world, my own life.

And you know what? I wouldn't have it any other way.

Island of Misfit... People

While we're on the topic of "crazy" [see previous post], I'd like to introduce to my blog world a friend of mine, someone that I've never met in person but visit almost every 24 hours.

His name is Jasper. He is about six feet tall, with dark brown hair that casually stands out in every direction and dark blue eyes that always seem to be hiding something. He dresses as if it's medieval times and often carries a bow and arrow. He never speaks in direct thoughts and often gives me riddles to solve to figure out his message. His home is on an island, an island more beautiful and terrifying than any on this planet.

His nickname is my "other half," and he is my twin. But only in my dreams.

Now you think I really am nuts. Before you reach for the phone to dial the psychiatric ward, hear me out.

For awhile now, I've been dreaming about the same island every single night. I go and visit, staying in the house there, wandering through the forests, watching the sun set on the ocean... You get it. But in the beginning, I was always alone, by myself on some big scary island.

And then Jasper found me.

He led me from the first danger I encountered on the island, a battle in the meadow. He kept me safe from every single demon or evil force that managed to survive on my island. Without him, I would have "died," left to perish in my dreams on the coast of an island that doesn't exist.

He never spoke at first, always disappearing. Now he talks. A lot. He speaks quickly and quietly, either in riddles or in rhymes to keep me thinking or regular conversation [if he feels like it]. He would not tell me his name, so I codenamed him Jasper, and he seemed to like it.

He calls me "Angel," short for "Guardian Angel." Long story. He calls himself my other half and makes fun of me for being short.

Tonight, if I go to the island, I'm going to ask about his real name. Again. It's been our topic of discussion for the past week... Maybe he'll crack today.

Oh, and the reason I know for sure that I'll ask? Because these dreams aren't regular dreams. I can remember everything from real life and all of the questions I have for him. And he knows everything about my real life--he'll want to hear all about the AP exam.

Yep. I just reread this. I've lost it. Goodnight :]

Fatigue?

I never wish to see the words "AP United States History Exam" again in my entire life.

Gah. I looked at it again. Still doesn't make me hate it any less. Honestly, I cannot "get into" history. Sure, it's exciting. Yes, it's life-changing to learn. But can I master it? Apparently not. [Special thanks to a certain eighth grade teacher for managing to pound a few good points into my head... like Hamilton v. Jefferson and all that Civil War info. And my tenth grade one did a good job too, with all the random other stuff we learned...]

I can learn it if I can relate to it. That's why I'm such a science geek--I see it everywhere, all the time. But the Wilmot Proviso? The Roosevelt Corollary? No way. Out of my league. There are a few events I can jump into--like Hamilton and Jefferson. That's probably because my ancestor shot Hamilton. Probably.

So anyway... No me gusta. No, no, no, no, no me gusta. And now, as a result, I'm really, really tired.

Which probably has something to do with the crazy powers and seeing dead people.



[dramatic pause]



Yes, I said it. Seeing dead people. And crazy powers. It all started yesterday, while we studied for the exam. Eddie, Lyrika, and Debbie--my supernatural chicas--were at my house, and we were talking about "special powers," leading inevitably to Eddie and I confessing our secret abilities that go beyond normal human behavior. Then the other two confessed to theirs, and we found ourselves freaks among freaks.

It was nice.

Instead of hiding our "powers," we decided to enhance them. Yes, we now sound crazy, I'm aware. But it was freaking cool. We're going to meet on every full moon [and possibly every new moon] to share the freakness and just be ourselves for a night. In the meantime, we'll work on managing our abilities, controlling them for our own benefit. It will be difficult, but very fun. And very rewarding.

Now that I sound like a lunatic, let me add on. Today I saw a dead person. Is that weird? Yes. They sat on a bench, glared at me while wearing all black, and took off running, disappearing from my sight. They were not friendly. My blood ran cold and my adrenaline went nuts.

Eddie and I are currently discussing these matters, concerned for our sanity as well as our abilities. Are we crazy? Are we "different"? Or are we simply exhausted? No way to tell.

I sure hope I'm not crazy. The voices in my head would be offended.

Sharing is Good [If Voluntary]

You know what I hate? Moochers. Parasitic people who take what is not rightfully theirs and give nothing in return.

Or worse, people who see something wrong with their government and say nothing about it. HATE.

Quit depending on other people to make you happy/keep you financially stable/do all of the work for you. Be independent. Do it yourself. Do everything in YOUR power to get what you want/need and don't use other people when they're not necessary.

Gah. Dependent people. Gah.

State Update [ha! it rhymes...]

So here's what went down on Saturday:

Our Central Challenge was absolutely amazing. We made everyone in the room laugh with some really quick improv moves, and we even used squirting water to our humor advantage. We got 217.5 points out of 240, an AWESOME score [one of the best we've ever had]. We felt good.

Our Instant Challenge can't be discussed, so we won't discuss it. DI regulations, you know.

So we're sitting in the award ceremony. I'm nervous, very nervous. This is it, keeps running through my head.

They get to our Challenge. Then our level [Secondary]. The announcer calls off 6th... 5th... 4th... 3rd... 2nd...

Now I'm really nervous. What if we don't get called at all? What if we didn't even place in the top six? I'm going crazy.

The announcer says they've got a special award for that Challenge, which only builds the suspense. They usually call special awards between second and first place for that specific reason, too. Very cruel.

The first award is read, and the team is called. It's not us. We're terrified--almost always, the team that receives the award gets first. Almost always.

But they go back to their seats and then the announcer begins another award. It's not us. Again, terror. The team goes up to receive their certificates and the reality sets in: They already took second place. They couldn't possibly have first, too.

The announcer then begins to read a third award. I am nearly peeing my pants in anxiety. We listen closely, our eyes growing wide in disbelief when we hear a description of what could possibly be our skit.

Then we hear the word "CAN-vas," and I scream like a little school girl. That's US!

They call out our school and we run to receive the first special award we've ever gotten in all our years of DI. It was our goal for this year, our long-time dream, and it came true.

We didn't just win any old award, either. We got the DaVincI, the god of all DI awards. It's the hardest one to get, and WE GOT IT! :D

So we're standing in a huddle, staring at our beautiful DaVincI medals in awe. The announcer [Vest Dude] strolls over grinning. He says he's got more news for us, and MH [teammate] says that Vest Dude is his favorite person ever [in the microphone]. We know what's coming. We've seen it a million times.

Time slows. My breath catches. And then, though I'm nervous beyond reason and ready to explode inside, Vest Dude says the words we were longing to hear:

"You're going to GLOBAL FINALS!"

I will never, never, NEVER get sick of that phrase. It means so much more than just those five words. It's a week of fun, a whole week with my abiological brothers and sisters. It's the glory of winning first place, of knowing that everyone in Michigan who could've beaten you somehow didn't. It's the knowledge that your hard work will be paid off.

Love to my team, my big and little siblings, the missing pieces of my mind. I love you guys :)

-Abigail Bubblegum Morgan