No longer am I Abigail Morgan, small girl hiding behind big dreams and a pen. I'm me. That's all I've needed all along.
I have the best friends a girl could ask for. My girls: Kailey, my little sister, with whom I share a locket and a heart. Maddy, my twin in so many ways, with whom I will be living at MSU next year and enjoying the happiest years of our lives. Querida, whose eternal sunshine brightens my world. Chiquita, whose sass and smiles remind me of the person I wish to be. Cassie, my big sister, with whom I've formed a familial bond that can never, ever fade. And Pinks, who has been there even when I haven't been myself, to keep me laughing and to keep it real.
My boys: Brillito, my little spot of hope in the darkest of hours, the one who brings out the Abby that should've come out a long time ago, and helps me to grow in ways he may never understand. He and his daughter [my "niece," as I'm looking at it] are going to be part of my life forever. Disko, like me in so many ways that count and unlike me in all the best ways, my reminder that not everyone has to fit a mold. KS, with whom I shared a great year and a perfect summer--and whose letters and words will stick with me. The DI boys, always right around the corner...
My family: parents, brother, cousins. I am lucky and I am blessed. They've been here for me all along.
This is my reality. This is me. So long to writing in the middle of the night, to turning to secret worlds to save myself. I don't need it anymore. It was great while it lasted, and perhaps someday I'll come back, but for now I'm living in the real world. Where I belong.
Will I miss writing? Sure. Have I missed a lot of life? Yes, I have. Time to get back into it. I have loved, I have lost, and now I am choosing to live.
Still finding reality? No. Reality found. It's here, and believe it or not, I love it.
Thank you for three wonderful years. For what I assume to be the last and final time... Abby's out.
3 comments:
Bye Abby. I'm glad you found a happy reality :) Have fun at MSU and I hope you're always happy in the future. Thanks for reading my blog and giving me encouragement and advice, and thanks for writing about things that I couldn't. You're the best, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
Good Life to you.
Ammietia,
Thank you so much for everything, from the words written here to the words on your page. Reading what you wrote always changed me--no matter how big or how small, how long or how short. I will always be grateful for that!
You're going to do great things one day, Ammietia. Big things. I'm not the best--you are. And don't let anybody step on that :]
Keep writing. Never stop. It's part of who you are, and always will be.
A great life to you, and an endless future of writing :]
--Abby
Hey Abby. I don't even know why I'm here. I guess it's because I was listening to The Hush Sound (which you introduced me to!) and I was feeling a bit nostalgic. I don't even know if you'll get some kind of notification of this, or if you ever check this blog, or if you'll ever read this. I don't even know if you want to talk to me, after all this time. It's kind of awkward, isn't it? Like a piece of your past sneaking up on you. I understand completely actually.
Why am I here? I really couldn't tell you any more than I have. I remember all the things you told me and all the times you supported me, and I guess I just want you to know that you changed my life. I wouldn't be the person I am now if it wasn't for you.
I'm going into Social Work. I had to take the long way around after my whole pastry chef idea popped and I realized I hadn't enough U-level credits to get into the Social Work program at Mac. But if all goes well, I should be starting in September this coming year.
I finally realized, and got confirmation, that the way my parents treat me is abuse. I'm still stuck here, but only until I get accepted into University, then I will be covered under that insurance and no longer rely on my dad's insurance. I'm actually meeting with a Transitional Support Worker tomorrow.
I've gotten to know what real friends are supposed to be like- and that you were always one of them. I learned the hard way, but I figure it was worth it.
I really hope you're doing well. More than well, I hope you are doing amazingly. I hope you really did find your reality, and I hope these past few years have been kind to you.
You were, and I'm sure you still are, an amazing person. Thank you so much for being there for me during one of the hardest times of my life. I can't honestly thank you enough.
I don't know if you'll ever see this, but even if you never do, I hope you know just how much of an amazing person you are. You deserve to hear it every day.
I don't know if I'll look back here to see if you did get this. It seems kind of odd if I stalk your blog, doesn't it? We also have terrible timing. But who knows?
But if you ever want to email me (and you totally don't have to.) any time, well... here's my email: lilybells [at] live [dot] com.
I wish you luck on every endeavour. I believe in you, no matter what.
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