"She's in love, and the world gets blurry
She makes mistakes, and she's in no hurry to grow up
'Cause grownups, they don't understand her
Well it's a big, big world out there, but she's not scared...
She finds hope in the strangest places
She reads her books, and she knows the faces
Of everyone that ever said she's alone
She knows every word to the saddest songs
And she sings along, though her friends all tell her
That she can't sing...
She's eighteen, much too young
To know what a kiss like that would mean
But her lips, they were no stranger to the touch
And she likes it way too much."
--Mayday Parade, So Far Away

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Maniacal Insomniac...al?

Another night, lying awake when I should be asleep. Do you think it's even possible for me to get the recommended eight hours on a week night?

Ha. That's a little funny.

I do everything I can. I try music. I try books. I try boring books. I try counting things. I try counting in Spanish. I try speaking Spanish to myself. I take the vitamin my doctor raved about, and do you think it actually makes me sleep?

Not right now, it doesn't. Want to know why? I'll tell you anyway.

I. Am. Stressed. Out.

To the breaking point. Nerves like live wires. Feeling like the victim of an incredibly intense round of jeopardy [I HATE that show].

I want to sleep. I want to dream. Well, that's a maybe, considering the whole end-with-my-own-demise thing, but even that's getting to be the norm...

I want to be unconscious for at least seven hours in order to put my life back in line.

This weekend, I work Friday four to ten; Saturday I work the infamous DI dog show fundraiser from 7 [that's AM, folks] until I have to go to my real work from four to ten; Sunday I'm back at the dog show until/unless I have to do killer amounts of homework [which already seems like a huge possibility, and it's only Monday]; and then Monday, after being busy all freaking weekend, I have to go to school and then work again from four to ten. Then homework, and then Tuesday...

Mehh. I want summer back. Or graduation, one of the two.

Right now. Before I lose it.
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1 comment:

Ammietia (a girl you once knew) said...

Oh the woes of the first weeks of school. I am in the same boat as you- unable to sleep well and stressed out of my mind. Sleep is the only time I don't have to worry or anything and I can't even enjoy it because it either won't come, or it comes in little bits, with wakes in between.

Good luck with school and everything, I hope it gets better for all. Stress is all around and everyone wants it gone >.< I believe I will scream into a pillow soon, lest I blow up at someone and cause more stress. Busy weekends don't help when all you want is a bit of time to catch your breath.

9/10/2008 11:41 PM

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