Lesson #20: Here, Take This--It'll Give You 5000% Your Recommended Daily Dose of Reality.

Another Wednesday. Another week half over. Another 10-pm, mind-can't-sleep, words-won't-write, "world-gone-mad" blogging session.

I found today that while Americans may lack vitamins [you know, the alphabet], the thing they lack the most is a sense of dignity. A knowledge of what to say, when to say it, how to say it, and--most importantly--to whom it should be said.

So here, in the midst of a wickedly bizarre Wednesday, I propose a Lesson #20:

Give the world the finger.

Give your thumbs-up to the people you support. Give the "hold-on-a-second" index to people and projects that should wait. Give the middle to those bastards who aren't worth the space they occupy. Give the ring to the one who deserves it. Give the pinkie in promises to your best friend and keep the promises you make.

When one isn't enough, add on some more. Show your thumb, index, and pinkie to say I love you [ASL]. Proudly wave the index and pinkie at a concert. Use the thumb and index to call your friend a loser when you're goofing around. Use all but the thumb to be from Star Trek. Hold up the middle three to be a Girl Scout.

And when those combinations just won't cut it--when life demands the ultimate sacrifices and leaves you with nothing--battle on with fists bared. Fight with life until your knuckles and defenses break.

My world, your world, his world, her world, their world. It's all in the palm of your hand.